predicting the future past

I’m trying to mix up my television review formats a little bit.  To me, Mad Men isn’t necessarily a show about an individual episode; it’s really more about the arcs and where the stories lead over multiple episodes and full seasons.  That being said, rather than do a traditional review, I’m going to focus on where I think some plotlines from each episode will lead.

Megan Has a Short Acting Career. Thanks, Charles Manson.

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Call it a gut feeling. Call it an educated guess. Call it Game of Thrones overload, but I have a genuine uneasiness of Megan’s fate thanks where she calls home on the left coast. You hear coyotes and see nothing but wilderness in the backyard, and as she’s barely sharing it with Don, there’s a level of vulnerability there that’s unmistakable; especially when certifiable psychopaths ravaged those Hollywood Hills in the same time period. In fact, this episode takes place around Richard Nixon’s inauguration in 1969, placing it just a half-year away from the murder of Sharon Tate.

Now, do I really think that the creators of the show could possibly murder Megan in such a grisly manner?… No? Probably not; it seems a-typical of the show that, while the characters have experienced death, it doesn’t fit with the spirit of the show and it’s not quite fair to the Megan-Don storyline to put a period on it with something so out-of-left-field. Chances are, the story touches upon the Manson family murders; possibly as a way to get the couple back to New York. But, you never can tell with these TV writers these days.

UPDATE: I wrote this article before I did any sort of research, but apparently, this is actually a popular theory.

Probability

1000:1 that Mad Men ends Megan’s run with someone using her blood to write Helter Skelter on her walls.

30:1 the Charles Manson murders indirectly affect Megan and Don’s relationship, whether that means she moves back to New York or they buy a dog.

 

Freddy Rumson Gets Drunk, Pisses His Pants During a Pitch

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Personally, I LOVE the pairing of Don and Freddy Rumson. He’s a character that we really have not gotten to know all that much about, so it’s a storyline that has the opportunity to reveal so much about him. What we know about Freddy Rumson is that he’s kind of a drunken screw-up that pissed his pants in the office one time. And you know what they say: once a drunken screw-up that pissed his pants in the office one time, always a drunken screw-up that pissed his pants in the office one time.

As much as I like the idea of this Cyrano-style way for Don to get himself back into the agency, I’m having a tough time seeing an endgame that doesn’t rely on Rumson making a fool of himself, urination or otherwise. Sure, it’s not a bad idea in the short-term, but there will come a time that Freddy will need to think on his feet and he’s yet to prove that he can. Eventually, someone’s going to figure out that something is up; my money’s on Peggy. What happens then? Does Don get back into the good graces of the partners and come back to work as if nothing happened? Then what was the point of his extended leave? That’s a pointless arc on par with The Walking Dead. Unless Freddy Rumson pisses his pants; that’s totally worth it.

Probability

15:1 that Freddy Rumson and Don’s little scheme ends with Freddy making a fool of himself.

50:1 Freddy Rumson pisses himself again. Do I think it will happen? No, but you have to admit that it would be pretty poetic.

 

Don Bangs Airplane Slut 1969 Neve Campbell

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This one’s like shooting fish-in-a-barrel. Don bangs every piece of strange he comes across. Passing up fresh trim for him is similar to someone quitting smoking; it just can’t be done so easily, so it’s obvious that when the producers cast someone as big as Neve Campbell, she’s going to be around at least one more time. Here’s how it goes down:

February 8th, 1969 – the first day of a three day nor’easter that dropped 20 inches or more throughout the Mid-Atlantic region. Don tries to get to Los Angeles before they start canceling flights, but to no avail. Deciding to wait it out, he heads to an airport bar for a couple drinks. There, he gets a tap on the shoulder and it’s Airplane Slut 1969 Neve Campbell. She was supposed to be on that flight, too. She sits down next to him, he buys her a drink, and they talk that small talk Don usually has to suffer his way through before he starts plowing his next brunette. One thing leads to another and then, bam! Back in the hotel, has himself three days of snowed-in Airport Marriot sex with 1969 Neve Campbell. Fast-forward to the mid-90s and a young Neve Campbell Whitman Draper is starring in Party of Five along with future superstar Scott Wolf.

Imagine everyone’s surprise when Mad Men turns out to be a slow-burn retelling of how Neve Campbell was conceived.

Probability

5:1 Don bangs Airplane Slut 1969 Neve Campbell

20:1 Scott Wolf makes a comeback.

 

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