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It would be easy to spend all of Arnold in April only talking about his badass action movies, but that would overlook the point of his career when he tried his hand at family films.  Kindergarten Cop is easily his best outing in this genre, full of a bunch of adorable little kids that mostly didn’t work again.  I caught Kindergarten Cop on television this weekend and it got me wondering what happened to all those kids.  Here’s what I could find out about some of them.

Dominic Palmieri / Cullen Crisp Jr.

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Character: This is the kid that makes the whole plot possible. The whole reason that Detectives John Kimble and Phoebe O’Hara are undercover in the first place is to track down the ex-wife and son of gangster Cullen Crisp.

Who Played Him: Joseph and Christian Cousins

Where Are They?: Out of acting. Pudgy-faced twins Joseph and Christian have a short resume, ranging from 1988 until 1995 when they played Tommy in a single episode of the old school HBO show Dream On. Besides Kindergarten Cop, they only have two other features to their name: Critters 3 and Twin Sitters, which is basically the same plot as Kindergarten Cop but with two muscle-bound fish-out-of-water.

A quick perusal of their IMDB pages looks like they were semi-active in answering questions on their profile back when MySpace was still a thing. Over on an eight-year-old Livejournal site, you can see what Joseph looks like now. And when I say now, I mean back in 2007. I assume Christian looks exactly like him, maybe with an evil mustache.

 

Zach Sullivan

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Character: He’s that weird kid that didn’t talk to anyone. He sat in the back and smashed trucks into each other. His dad beat him. The other kids made fun of him for it. He had a poopoo face.

Who Played Him: Justin Page

Where Are They?: Justin Page never worked again in Hollywood. According to his IMDB message boards, he wound up in the military, having been deployed to both Iceland and UAE.  Someone claiming to be his brother basically says he’s a huge dick.

 

Joseph

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Character: Wise beyond his years, Joseph was the son of a gynecologist and knew the differences between boys and girls.

Who Played Him: Miko Hughes

Where Are They?: Miko Hughes was the go-to kid of the early 90s. Adorably precocious, he first made a splash in Pet Sematary before a recurring role as Aaron Bailey (AKA: the MVP) in Full House and a starring role in the underrated Bruce Willis film Mercury Rising. He also played Heather Langenkamp’s son in the meta Wes Craven’s New Nightmare.

He’s kept busy through his career and currently has three upcoming films on his IMDB page. We also mentioned during a previous article that he seems to be pretty normal. People on his IMDB page think he’s hot, so good for him.

 

Rosa

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Character: The only girl in John Kimble’s class that didn’t speak English.

Who Played Her: Odette Annable (formerly Odette Yustman)

Where Are They?: Odette Yustman may not exactly be a household name, but she was pretty active not more than five years ago, based on the fact that she’s now super hot.  Her breakout was Cloverfield, but she also starred in the Kristen Bell comedy You Again. If you remember the forgotten horror film The Unborn, chances are the only thing you actually remember is how the way she looked in white panties played into their marketing strategy.

She goes by Odette Annable now and she’s been quite active in television, having extended stints in a bunch of television series like October Road, House, M.D., Breaking In, and Astronaut Wives Club. She can currently be seen on Cinemax’s pulp crime show Banshee.

 

Emma

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Character: The adorable little girl that couldn’t undo her overalls to go to the bathroom and whose dad’s head was too big for hats.

Who Played Her: Sarah Rose Karr

Where Are They?: Sarah Rose Karr was actually the reason why I wrote this article in the first place. She was quite the popular little kid actress in the early 1990s, having had a role in family films like two Beethoven movies, Father of the Bride, and of course, Kindergarten Cop. Not long after Beethoven’s 2nd, Sarah seems to have given up acting completely.

I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a “shame”, because I’m sure she’s lived a completely fulfilling life without Hollywood, but I was surprised to see that her career ended as abruptly as it did. There are not strong leads on the Internet as to what she’s been doing since. Some say she went to college and majored in mathematics, but there’s no real evidence of it. Maybe we’ll see her in a Kindergarten Cop reunion or something.

 

Kissing Boy

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Character: Kimble catches an older kid making out with some girl during a fire drill.

Who Played Him: Jason Reitman

Where Are They?: Also known as director Ivan Reitman’s son, Jason has gone on to have a prolific career as a director in his own right.  He won major acclaim with Thank You For Smoking and went on to other critical darlings Juno and Up in the Air.  Recently, he’s directed indie films Men, Women, and Children and Young Adult, which starred Charlize Theron.

 

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