Game of Thrones has returned for season six, as if I had to tell you that already. Life in Westeros is never great, though, even this far into the storyline. It’s basically a story about whose life sucks the very least at this moment, which is what this power ranking will discuss.
NOTE: There are MAJOR spoilers in this article so please read with caution.
Not ranked this week: Ellaria Sand and the Sand Snakes, Theon Greyjoy, Yara Greyjoy, King Tommen, Melisandre, Tyrion Lannister, Arya Stark, Varys
12. Khal Moro
Last week: Not Ranked
Discount Bin Khal Drogo didn’t stand a chance in that fire. RIP to you and the rest of your would-be rapist friends.
11. Osha
Last week: Not Ranked
Chalk up another one for Ramsay. Bastard Bolton is quickly adding up all the people he’s done in and the numbers are getting quite high. Osha makes her first substantial appearance in this season simply to get her throat cut. Thanks for playing, Osha.
10. Margaery and Loras Tyrell
Last week: Not Ranked
The only thing slightly worse than being Margaery or Loras right now is being dead, but it’s VERY close.
9. Jorah Mormont
Last week: Not Ranked
Jorah’s greyscale is getting worse, and now Daario knows all about it. This guy’s life has been balls for a number of seasons and it’s easy to believe that it won’t end with him getting exactly what he wants.
8. Tyrion Lannister
Last week: Not Ranked
With Dany gone from Mereen, Tyrion has been given the most power he’s had since he was Hand of the King. In his temporary position, he’s making compromises with the people of Mereen and the slavers of neighboring cities. Unfortunately, while he is being diplomatic and making sound decisions, he’s basically pissing everyone off and it could spell disaster if Dany doesn’t come back soon with some Dothraki Justice against the Sons of the Harpy.
7. Brienne of Tarth
Last week: Not Ranked
One of the most interesting trajectories of the entire series has been Brienne’s path to where she is right now. From Renly’s army to Cat Stark’s bodyguard to Jaime’s captor and now, finally, she’s successfully delivered Sansa Stark to Jon Snow. And in this episode, she gets to tell Melisandre and Ser Davos about how she cut off Stannis’ head. Zero fucks given.
6. Little Finger
Last week: Not Ranked
Leave it to Little Finger to make a fashionably late entrance into this season. He’s been M.I.A. through the first three weeks and now, we’ve got him flexing the power he’s somehow gotten himself. It’s not real power, though; he simply has Robin Arryn’s ear, who’s a little unstable and really just wants to put people through the Moon Door. For now, Peter Baelish is on his good side, and that’s a pretty good place to be.
5. Cersei and Jaime Lannister
Last week: 5
Standing pat is Cersei and Jaime as they are trying to make moves to get the High Sparrow out of the city. Forming a plan with the Tyrells is probably the last thing Cersei wanted to do, but it’s looking like big things are going to happen in King’s Landing very shortly.
4. Ramsay Bolton
Last week: 3
At this point, Ramsay must be unkillable. There’s no reason he should still be alive, and he once again does away with someone that stands in his way. This time, it’s Osha, and Ramsay remains terrible, yet powerful.
3. Robin Arryn
Last week: Not Ranked
Happy Name Day, you psychopath. Here’s a falcon.
2. Sansa Stark and Jon Snow
Last week: Not Ranked and 1
It’s taken nearly five full seasons for any of the separated Starks to be reunited, and we have it with Sansa and Jon. As Jon is about to peace out with deuces from Castle Black, Sansa shows up with Brienne and Podrick and bring with them the news of Ramsay’s hold of Winterfell. It isn’t until Ramsay sends word that he has Rickon that Jon agrees to rally the Wildlings and take on that crazy ass bastard and his army.
1. Daenerys Targaryen
Last week: 9
I’m still a pretty big critic of Dany, but I have to give credit where credit is due: she was kind of a badass in this episode. Luckily, someone had the foresight to cover the entire temple with gasoline before she put her plan in motion, because that place went up in flames immediately. Now, she has a Dothraki army to go with her amry of Unsullied. Now, all she needs are some ships.
The Main Damie 