PLOT: After a high school track star dies from a blood clot, a mysterious killer starts to pick off her teammates one by one on graduation day.

All this bloodshed because a girl couldn’t run 200 meters without dying. Seriously. That’s the huge drama that kicks off this movie. A girl runs a race and dies. Maybe she should be on the fucking track team if she can’t run without dying… just a thought.

Graduation Day is one of the silliest movies I’ve seen in a while. Troma made this, so that’s to be expected, but it was still a surprise. The kills are inspired, for the most part: someone gets poked through the throat, someone pole vaults onto a bed of spikes, and someone throws a saber attached to a football at a football player and he gets impaled. It’s ridiculous.

The plot is your standard slasher flick plot. Girl dies, someone kills a bunch of teens, twist ending, the end. Speaking of endings, this one has about three endings to it, which makes it basically Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, but shorter, so better.

There’s also a seven minute (7!) scene in which the band Felony plays one of their songs.  It just keeps going.  Other than seeing Vanna White in a really early role and Linnea Quigley delivering the goods, as always, it’s pretty forgettable.  Worst of all, in a movie called Graduation Day, you never even get to see the Graduation ceremony.  It’s the cocktease to end all cockteases.

 

For a slasher flick from the 1980s, and one made by Troma no less, it’s actually pretty light on the gore. There are a couple of decapitations and a fencing sabre attached to a football impales someone, but other than that, there’s not much.

Gore Rating: 2.5 out of 5

 

 

It’s not that scary. There’s not much more to say than that. It’s an 80’s slasher flick from Troma; you shouldn’t be expecting too much scares.

Scare Rating: 0 out of 5

 

 

Linnea Quigley is the gift that keeps on giving. Apparently, she’s failing music class, so she seduces the sleazeball music teacher. It’s kind of creepy, given the rampant amount of teacher-on-student sex in the news these days, but Linnea Quigley was like 24 years old, so it’s fine. There’s also a quick flash of boob from another girl when she changes into her gymnastics leotard.

Sex/Nudity Rating: 3.5 out of 5

 

OVERALL

This movie made me laugh a few times, but it’s not a great slasher movie by any means.  I appreciate the fact that this movie was able to scrounge up a few real athletes to do some stunts, and the ending reveal is pretty good, but the whole concept is just silly.  200 meters, that’s all she had to run.  This whole thing is on the dead girl.

Overall Rating: 5 out of 10