PLOT: A hospice nurse takes care of an elderly female writer, whose most famous novel may be inspired by a ghost that haunts the house.

Let me get one thing out of the way: I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives in the House is really nice to look at.  The camerawork is pretty gorgeous.  Other than that, this film is like taking a virtual tour of an old colonial house.  It’s about as boring a horror film as you can come across.

Ruth Wilson, plays Lily, a hospice nurse that takes a job caring for an aging (and presumably, dying) novelist, whose most famous novel is entitled “The Lady in the Walls”.  While she assumes the job will be short, the old woman actually hangs on for quite a while.  Eventually, Lily notices a couple of odd things going on in the house, especially a weird mold that starts to form along one of the walls.

This is a frustrating movie due to just how long things take to happen.  I don’t mean that it’s just a slow burn of a film (it is), but literally everything that happens is done at a snails’ pace.  A character is opening a box?  It’ll take a full minute for that character to open it.  A character is going to turn its head?  Expect to be there for a while.  Even the dialogue and voice-over is just so deliberate and plodding that you just want to scream out “Do something!”

 

 

gore 1

Nope.

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Gore Rating: 0 out of 5

 

 

scares

There are like one or two jump scares that actually work in this, but the needle doesn’t get moved nearly enough for this type of movie.

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Scare Rating: 2 out of 5

 

 

sex nudity

Nothing.

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Sex/Nudity Rating: 0 out of 5

 

 

OVERALL

This movie thinks it has your undivided attention and takes its fucking time doing everything.  There’s like a 10-minute phone conversation that you only hear one side of it.  At the very least, all I wanted was to have her get the mold problem looked at and this movie couldn’t even deliver that.  The plot of this film really lets down the technical aspect of everything, because it looks good and it’s well-acted.  It can just put you to sleep, though.

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Overall Rating: 4 out of 10

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