PLOT: A death metal fan wins an exclusive album from his favorite band, but the album contains a song that turns listeners into zombies. 

I really cannot review this movie. Sure, it’s a movie that I watched, but I almost feel like I shouldn’t have watched it. Not because it was so terrible (it was), but because it seems like this was a movie that was only supposed to be seen by the filmmakers closest friends. If you told me that this movie was made, then lost in a warehouse and uncovered twenty years later, I would believe you. It feels like it’s not right to give this an actual score. 

Death Metal Zombies is shot completely on VHS and has the production values that you would expect to go along with that fact. The audio quality is suspect, the professional lighting is non-existent, and it seems like they took the first take for everything. I made a Blair Witch Project parody when I was 14 as a spur-of-the-moment thing during a Halloween party. It was completely improvised and all done in one continuous take. We were 14. It was better than this. 

That’s really all I’m going to say about this movie. It’s barely a movie, but it seems like these people had fun making it. Good for them. I just don’t think this is fit for mass consumption. Though, you have to love the well-meaning but misplaced tribute to Kurt Cobain in the end credits. 

Overall Rating: 3 out of 10