Hello, my name is Mark, and I am a completion-aholic.

What is a completion-aholic, you ask? Well, it’s the best way to describe my entertainment habits; I’m addicted to completing things. This encapsulates everything from television to video games to movies. My “condition” is the reason why I stuck with a sinking ship like The O.C. until the series finale, and why I played catch up on The Wire before its final season. It is also not unheard of for me to spend upwards of $200 dollars to play a trilogy of a video game series — the most recent example being Mass Effect.

But movies… movies are where I’ve devoted most of my time placating my desire, which is why it still eats at me that I never finished my 365 Days of Netflix Instant project. *Shudders while thinking of Sleeping Beauty*

This “affliction” has led me to watch the entire Harry Potter, Twilight, Rocky and Rambo series. Each one has its own reason for me to watch the first movie, but the money I spent on the subsequent films is motivated by the same exact thing. Call it morbid curiosity, or whatever other excuses you can conjure, but the truth is that I have this need to see how the story ends.

Sometimes I am rewarded for my earnestness, and those rare instances only feed my cravings. The Harry Potter movies were the perfect storm because as the films became increasingly better so did the attractiveness of the actresses; therefore, I was hooked. After Sorcerer’s Stone and Chamber of Secrets, my faith that I wouldn’t hate myself for the next half a decade was non-existent. But as the movies turned darker and grittier — well, as much as a film geared at children can be — my anticipation of the next entry grew. You would think that my need would be satisfied and I’d be happy, but there was another Young Adult phenomenon shoving itself down our throats at the same time.

Twilight.

If Harry Potter was the zenith of the best possible scenario for me, then this was rock bottom. Remember when I said that each movie has its own reason for grabbing my attention? Well, this one was named Kristen Stewart. I had seen both The Messengers and In the Land of Women, and thought she was pretty and could possibly act, so after being begged by my sister (she’ll claim that this is revisionist history), who was a big fan of the books, I gave Twilight a chance.

I’ll be the first to admit that I like vampire lore, but Stephanie Meyer’s take on it had me laughing and mad at the same time. But as I do, I kept spending money on the series — I refuse to call it a saga — and each time I came away not really enjoying the movie, but still thinking the actresses were attractive enough that it wasn’t a total waste. It’s shallow, I know, but I needed an excuse and I was still in denial of my “sickness”. But this was my Robert-Downey-Jr-breaking-into-someone’s-house-to-sleep-in-their-bed moment.

'Come here,' they sang, 'renowned Ulysses, honour to the Achaean name, and listen to our two voices."
‘Come here,’ they sang, ‘renowned Ulysses, honour to the Achaean name, and listen to our two voices.”

With that said, I don’t know if I really want to be cured of this “disease”.  Sure, I watch some really terrible movie series sometimes, but I also get to watch some evolve and mature. Would my life be a better place if I didn’t watch all five Twilight movies? Probably, but I would also be less informed as a critic, which is much more important. I would rather suffer through poorly written films that are based off of poorly written books, then not be able to tell someone that the Hunger Games has the potential to break the precedent Twilight set in the YA movie category and be a good series. Think about it this way, I watch bad movies, so you don’t have to.

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