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If you’re not into cult cinema, the news that James Franco bought the rights to The Disaster Artist might have passed you by.  To The Main Damie, it could be one of the most important news stories of the year.  We’re “fans” of the idea of The Room and any movie that can come out of Greg Sestero’s tell-all about what exactly went into the making of the worst movie of all-time, so when we found out that the story was a go, our imaginations obviously ran wild with all the possibilities of who can possibly fill the tuxedo of Tommy Wiseau.  So here’s our casting choices.  VOTE on our choices or comment with your own.

Dan’s Pick – Keanu Reeves

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I have yet to see the masterpiece that is The Room, but I have seen several clips of Tommy Wiseau’s “acting.” He seems totally disconnected from the outside world, bland, and was probably one of those people that everyone laughed at instead of with. Who else meets all those requirements better than Keanu Reeves? Now before I go any further, let me point out that I don’t have a problem with Keanu. In fact, I think he gets more flack that he probably deserve, but with that said he is still a weird customer.

Putting Keanu into the role of Wiseau would seem almost like a natural fit. They are both soft spoken and pretty ridiculous in their rolls. If he were cast as Wiseau I think Reeves could probably out-creep Wiseau at his own game if he really wanted to, which would probably create some weird inter dimensional creep vortex and we would all be sucked into its black hole.

Either way, if James Franco is reading this article I hope you pick Reeves because I know he would sound awesome screaming “You’re tearing me apart Lisa!”

Mark’s Pick – Patrick Fugit

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To be able to find a suitable actor to portray Tommy Wiseau in The Disaster Artist, you’d have to do it on looks alone because, honestly, no actor can be any worse in terms of talent. With that in mind, I studied a few photos of the infamous director, and couldn’t shake the idea of casting Gene Simmons of KISS. Maybe it was the long black hair, or that, at least in photos, they appeared to have the same body type. But, alas, Simmons and his tongue would be an awful choice for the role.

Even though my first instinct was terrible, it led me to my real choice, Patrick Fugit. It was quite natural that I chose the star of Almost Famous after initially considering a rock star for the role, but it was actually more than that. Fugit is one of those actors that continuously pops up in off-beat movies and reminds you that he’s a decent actor. The role of Wiseau requires an actor that is not afraid to play a character that’s not ordinary, but completely fascinating. Fugit has the perfect look, the right acting ability, and the history of doing off-the-wall films, but who am I kidding, director James Franco will probably choose either himself or one of his friends, and we’ll get Seth Rogen portraying Wiseau. Ugh.

Anthony’s Pick – Val Kilmer

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I went through a lot of versions of my pick: Javier Bardem, Gary Oldman, even Johnny Depp.  The fact is that Tommy Wiseau is such a mysterious entity that plenty of actors can do his crazy ass justice.

For this pick, I went outside of the box to an actor that has given some off-the-wall performances in the past, but who has been under-the-radar in recent memory.  Kilmer, in his pre-Batman days, gave some truly magnificent performances, including his turn as Doors frontman Jim Morrison.  The performance is truly one of the more underrated acting showcases of the decade, and Kilmer completely immerses himself into the body of the Lizard King.

For The Disaster Artist, a book which I’m currently reading, you need a Tommy Wiseau that can be at times cocky, self-involved, and uncouth while still showing signs of childlike ambition and fleeting moments of pure vulnerability.  In all seriousness, Kilmer’s role as Doc Holliday in Tombstone similarly straddles a line of vulnerability and brashness that could carry over into the mysterious skin of Tommy Wiseau.

Now, can he pull off the accent?  In all honesty, Wiseau’s accent is very forgiving, for the simple fact that no one knows quite where it comes from.  Is it French?  Is it Austrian?  Polish?  Who knows?  But as long as Kilmer gives his voice a slight Euro twang, he’ll be fine.

Who do you think should play Tommy Wiseau?  Vote in the poll or leave your answer.

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