PLOT: A group of teens head to a cabin for the weekend, while a flesh-eating virus wreaks havoc.
Hey guys, remember Gus Van Sant’s shot-for-shot remake of Psycho? Remember how utterly pointless it was? Like, why remake a classic if you’re not going to have a different take on it? Yeah, now imagine those two movies are less than two decades apart.
The original Cabin Fever is, by no means, the original Psycho. No one will ever say that, but I do enjoy Cabin Fever for what it is. The cast is likable, the goriness is done pretty well, and there are some absurd moments that come out of nowhere and never pay off. It’s a decent movie to switch on if it plays on SyFy on a random Sunday afternoon.
THIS movie… holy fuck. I just don’t understand this. Why the hell does this movie even exist? If this was a ripoff made by the Asylum called Sick House, it would make more sense that this is a thing. But this… why put the effort into it if you’re literally not putting any effort into it? The only changes that jump out to me is the different cast, the deputy is a woman, and Dennis doesn’t do those sweet karate moves, which was my favorite part of the original film. This movie can go fuck itself.
The movie has the same beats of gore that you can see in the original. The original is pretty gory and this stays true to that, but you might as well just watch the original.
Gore Rating: 4 out of 5
Meh. Unless you’re a hypochondriac and are afraid of getting sick, I wouldn’t say this is scary. It makes you uneasy at least, but it’s not scary, per se.
Scare Rating: 1.5 out of 5
Good nudity, but it’s literally the same nudity from the original, except it’s not Cerina Vincent, so that can change your opinion of if it’s worth it.
Sex/ Nudity Rating: 4 out of 5
I said this earlier: fuck this movie. I don’t know why this movie exists, unless it’s some way for Eli Roth to launder money he makes from selling date rape drugs to USC frats (allegedly). Shot-for-shot remakes are a bullshit thing and this is the biggest bullshit of all of them. But partial credit for nipple rings.